Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize