Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
