Your mouth is God's brothel.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
