Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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