I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
