Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
