C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
