You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
