can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize