I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
