your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
