Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
