I hate all girls vehemently.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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