you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
