Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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