Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this will be a night to untag.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
