well you can't waste a boner
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
