I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
