butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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