told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
