Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
