he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
