see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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