If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
