he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
