Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
