He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just found puke in my bra..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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