Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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