What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
