Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
