hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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