Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
