whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That accounts for only three of the penises
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
