Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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