you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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