Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
