Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
