I want to walk on stilts...naked
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize