The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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