He disabled his match.com account in front of me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
And then he peed in my hair
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