We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
50% drunk capacity currently
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
