I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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