shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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