i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
