last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
