Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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