When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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