Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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