OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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