Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
