plz talk dirty to me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
