i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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