Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize