ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
