I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
