I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
