Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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