you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
