every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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