I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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