You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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