Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
