It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
