Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize